...helping to develop loving relationships!
How Mindfulness Meditation can Improve Your Life and Relationships
Want to go From Conflict...
To Connection...
Want to improve your life and your relationships? Want to find a different way of relating towards yourself when faced with challenging situations or emotions?
There's a way and it's called Mindfulness Meditation. It starts from the premise that in life we're all are going to confront suffering. Sometimes it's major events and upsets, such as losing a parent, a loved one, a job or our financial stability. Sometimes it's the small stuff, such as our partner being angry with us, our child not listening or our own internal suffering through judging ourselves for not being good enough, kinder, more understanding or understood and the list goes on and on. After doing this moment after moment, year after year it becomes toxic and exhausting. It's also detrimental to your whole well-being! There are actual scientific studies of brain that prove this (judging, reacting, stressing, defensiveness, anxiety, etc) is detrimental to our mental, emotional, and physical self! So I want to say that you're not alone! This is our conditioned way of being...which means you are normal! But normal isn't going to get you what you want in relationship!
Personally, I have struggled with learning how to relate to stress and the roller coaster ride of emotions I face in this game called life. I got much better at it on my journey towards becoming a therapist...still there were times where all my knowledge would go out the window! As a therapists I have more tools in my toolbox then most people collect in a life time! So you'd think that I'd be calm and serene...sort of like this guy (His Holiness the Dalai Lama):
Truthfully there have been moments in my life when I feel more like this frazzled woman:
I'm not as calm as the Dalai Lama and in reality there are very few people like him! On the other hand, I'm able to be much more present to myself and others when things get rocky. So how did I learn to be more present to those sensitive places inside myself that reacts to things in the outside world? I learned to develop a mindfulness practice in my daily life so that I could be less reactive and more present. This is what mindfulness meditation is all about and it is what I teach couples and individuals in my practice. Mindfulness is about learning how to relate to your inner experience with love and compassion so that you can relate to the world and everyone in it from a place of compassion instead of a place of anger, sadness or what reactivity (defensiveness, blaming, shutting down, etc.).
When you practice mindfulness you learn to build an awareness of what's going on in your mind; judgments, thoughts, opinions, reactions without becoming overwhelmed/taken over by them. Many times what happens is that we have a thought "My partner doesn't love me because he is angry all of the time." and then we react to it in some way. We buy into the story as if it were fact and we forget that emotions, thoughts and judgments are not about facts. On the contrary they are about scanning the environment to make sure we are safe but this behavior often keep us imprisoned. So, can we get rid of our thoughts, judgments and all the other baggage that comes along with this busy mind of ours? Of course not! What we can do is learn to relate to these happenings with an open heart and mind, being what is called a compassionate witness. Watching what is happening in your mind without becoming identified with them, learning to sense how your body reacts to your thoughts and instead of reacting choosing to; become still and compassionate towards them.
The best way to learn is to actually do it! So, right now I want you to take a few minutes, stop what you're doing and practice this guided meditation. Take notice about how you're feeling before doing the meditation:
Now pause before going on with your normal routine and make a few notes on what you experienced. See if you can practice this meditation on a daily practice or when you are feeling stressed as practicing will help you build and develop the ability to stay present to your feelings.
Activity for incorporating mindfulness practice into your life:
The following quote is from a talk that was presented by Tara Brach, PhD and Rick Hanson Psychologist.
"Neuroscience now has the studies to prove that the quality/how we pay attention to our internal experiences (emotions, thoughts, judgments, reactions, etc.) changes our physical structure, our biochemistry, our emotional experiences. It changes how we behave so practicing mindfulness meditation helps us to face our internal experiences (reactivity, emotions, thoughts, etc.) in a way that leads to changing how we relte to the external world. This helps us attune to ourselves and the rest of the world with compassion."
Below is a free podcast by Tara Brach about mindfulness and relationships. Set aside sometime free from distractions and make yourself comfortable so that you can really take in her teachings as well as the meditation at the end of the talk. Click on From Story to Presence for the talk and then Mindfulness Meditation
To schedule a couples session to learn about setting up a couples mindfulness meditation practice please contact me at 954-793-6442 or you can email me at acaringcounselor@yahoo.com
Until next time! I wish you peace…
Cindy Ricardo, LMHC is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist with a private practice in Coral Springs, Florida. She teaches couples and individuals about how to create a loving, joyful and peaceful life. She also runs workshops for couples about how to create loving and supportive relationships using mindfulness practices and Women’s Empowerment Workshops addressing topics related to assertiveness, boundaries and self-care. For more information please contact her at 954.793.6442. or visit http://www.acaringcounselor.net to learn more about her services.
To Connection...
Want to improve your life and your relationships? Want to find a different way of relating towards yourself when faced with challenging situations or emotions?
There's a way and it's called Mindfulness Meditation. It starts from the premise that in life we're all are going to confront suffering. Sometimes it's major events and upsets, such as losing a parent, a loved one, a job or our financial stability. Sometimes it's the small stuff, such as our partner being angry with us, our child not listening or our own internal suffering through judging ourselves for not being good enough, kinder, more understanding or understood and the list goes on and on. After doing this moment after moment, year after year it becomes toxic and exhausting. It's also detrimental to your whole well-being! There are actual scientific studies of brain that prove this (judging, reacting, stressing, defensiveness, anxiety, etc) is detrimental to our mental, emotional, and physical self! So I want to say that you're not alone! This is our conditioned way of being...which means you are normal! But normal isn't going to get you what you want in relationship!
Personally, I have struggled with learning how to relate to stress and the roller coaster ride of emotions I face in this game called life. I got much better at it on my journey towards becoming a therapist...still there were times where all my knowledge would go out the window! As a therapists I have more tools in my toolbox then most people collect in a life time! So you'd think that I'd be calm and serene...sort of like this guy (His Holiness the Dalai Lama):
Truthfully there have been moments in my life when I feel more like this frazzled woman:
I'm not as calm as the Dalai Lama and in reality there are very few people like him! On the other hand, I'm able to be much more present to myself and others when things get rocky. So how did I learn to be more present to those sensitive places inside myself that reacts to things in the outside world? I learned to develop a mindfulness practice in my daily life so that I could be less reactive and more present. This is what mindfulness meditation is all about and it is what I teach couples and individuals in my practice. Mindfulness is about learning how to relate to your inner experience with love and compassion so that you can relate to the world and everyone in it from a place of compassion instead of a place of anger, sadness or what reactivity (defensiveness, blaming, shutting down, etc.).
When you practice mindfulness you learn to build an awareness of what's going on in your mind; judgments, thoughts, opinions, reactions without becoming overwhelmed/taken over by them. Many times what happens is that we have a thought "My partner doesn't love me because he is angry all of the time." and then we react to it in some way. We buy into the story as if it were fact and we forget that emotions, thoughts and judgments are not about facts. On the contrary they are about scanning the environment to make sure we are safe but this behavior often keep us imprisoned. So, can we get rid of our thoughts, judgments and all the other baggage that comes along with this busy mind of ours? Of course not! What we can do is learn to relate to these happenings with an open heart and mind, being what is called a compassionate witness. Watching what is happening in your mind without becoming identified with them, learning to sense how your body reacts to your thoughts and instead of reacting choosing to; become still and compassionate towards them.
The best way to learn is to actually do it! So, right now I want you to take a few minutes, stop what you're doing and practice this guided meditation. Take notice about how you're feeling before doing the meditation:
Now pause before going on with your normal routine and make a few notes on what you experienced. See if you can practice this meditation on a daily practice or when you are feeling stressed as practicing will help you build and develop the ability to stay present to your feelings.
Activity for incorporating mindfulness practice into your life:
The following quote is from a talk that was presented by Tara Brach, PhD and Rick Hanson Psychologist.
"Neuroscience now has the studies to prove that the quality/how we pay attention to our internal experiences (emotions, thoughts, judgments, reactions, etc.) changes our physical structure, our biochemistry, our emotional experiences. It changes how we behave so practicing mindfulness meditation helps us to face our internal experiences (reactivity, emotions, thoughts, etc.) in a way that leads to changing how we relte to the external world. This helps us attune to ourselves and the rest of the world with compassion."
Below is a free podcast by Tara Brach about mindfulness and relationships. Set aside sometime free from distractions and make yourself comfortable so that you can really take in her teachings as well as the meditation at the end of the talk. Click on From Story to Presence for the talk and then Mindfulness Meditation
To schedule a couples session to learn about setting up a couples mindfulness meditation practice please contact me at 954-793-6442 or you can email me at acaringcounselor@yahoo.com
Until next time! I wish you peace…
Cindy Ricardo, LMHC is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist with a private practice in Coral Springs, Florida. She teaches couples and individuals about how to create a loving, joyful and peaceful life. She also runs workshops for couples about how to create loving and supportive relationships using mindfulness practices and Women’s Empowerment Workshops addressing topics related to assertiveness, boundaries and self-care. For more information please contact her at 954.793.6442. or visit http://www.acaringcounselor.net to learn more about her services.
Tags: calm, compassion, connection, couples, empathy, kindness, loving, meditation, mindfulness, peaceful
Comment
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Comment by Cindy Ricardo on September 24, 2009 at 9:34am
- Hey chamita...glad you liked it! I want to use some of this in the next couples workshop and in the parenting workshops. I know it would really help!
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Comment by Claudia Cardona on September 24, 2009 at 12:28am - Very nice!
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- Hi Julie...I'm glad you enjoyed it! Please feel free to pass it on!
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Comment by Julie Gallinat on September 23, 2009 at 7:37pm
- A lovely piece .. thanks for sharing.
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- Hi Erica! Thanks for your compliment. I've studied mindfulness for a long time now so yoga was naturally the next step on this journey! I am really glad you enjoyed reading this and that you find it useful. Feel free to pass it on if you have friends that would benefit from this. See you soon! Namaste
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Comment by Erica Nicole on September 23, 2009 at 12:25pm - Cindy that is wonderful how your incorporating our studies and your writing is phenomenal! keep it up- We all could use relationship help so its beneficial for me too!
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